The Memories in a Kiss
by sharkgeek
Summary: What goes through Santana's head when her and Brittany kiss. She is with Dani now, and they are happy, even if its not the same as Brittany and Santana. Santana's thoughts during the Brittana kiss, and a little of Brittany's too. Spoilers for ep 100...sorry for the horrendous title, but I couldn't think of anything!


So, I've not watched Glee in a good season and a half, so I hope that everyone is still in character. But I obviously saw the kiss from last week, and I'm aware of the Santana/Dani relationship. And this came to mind as I watched the Brittana kiss several times.

I hope everyone likes this, as ever, comments/likes/ect are much appreciated. Also, its pretty late here and I have a tournament all day tomorrow, so I've done a quick check, but nothing major, so, apologies in advance for any errors!

I don't own Glee

* * *

From the moment Santana felt Brittany's soft, slightly cold

– they were always cold, even if it was at just the tips, and Santana would be surprised every time, her skin becoming gooseflesh –

fingers slide along her neck, Santana's body loosened and her mind blanked.

She felt nothing, and then suddenly everything.

Brittany's lips were slightly rough – she always chewed them when she was nervous – but they still fitted perfectly, so fucking perfectly, with Santana's.

* * *

((dani))

* * *

She could feel Brittany's nose pressed against her cheek, warm and solid and slightly squashed –

* * *

(Dani)

* * *

Just the smallest shift of Brittany's thumb along Santana's jaw made her fingers reach as if to touch Brittany. When Brittany pulled back slightly, in a way Santana knew could only meant the kiss was going to deepen, her heart skipped and she sighed into Brittany's mouth.

Santana could see Brittany's face, nose scrunched as she would smile at something -

* * *

(DANI!)

* * *

Eyes as dark and glinting mischievously as her curvy, toffee coloured body moved like a panther above Santana's, the tips of her fingers trailing around Santana's hip bones and slowly…so slowly up her abdomen and between her breasts causing Santana's breathe to catch.

"Do you have _any _idea how sexy you are?"

Santana reached for Dani's lips, kissing her bruisingly, desperately, before panting into her mouth.

"About half as sexy as you are."

* * *

Dani's rasping laugh at…some kids cartoon that Santana hadn't really been watching, made Santana to shift slightly closer. The movement further loosened some of Santana's hair that had twisted out of her messy pony tail, to fall across Dani's shoulders. Dani tangled their fingers together and leant her head on top of Santana's.

Which is where they still were, fast asleep when Rachel stormed through the door two hours later, broken umbrella in one hand and trying to squeeze the water out of her skirt in the other. The angry rant died in her throat, and she lifted the blanket that was puddled at their feet carefully tucking in the edges.

* * *

Santana and Dani had headed back to Santana's apartment, the closer of the two, exhausted after a ridiculously busy nine hour shift. Santana had had one too many 40 something, slightly balding, beer bellied, professional's grab her arse and she was stamping between the bed and her wardrobe as she changed into shorts and a large t-shirt. Dani let it happen a few times before reaching for Santana's arm and pulling her into her lap. Santana relaxed instantly into Dani's body, and suddenly tiredness washed over her. She yawned widely, before snuggling closer into Dani and kissing under her chin. Santana's breath slowed and she was close to falling asleep when Dani whispered into the dark room, sure Santana was asleep.

"I'm falling in love with you."

* * *

(DANI!)

* * *

"Okay. Um…it's a bad idea." Santana had never cared about kissing Brittany when she was supposed to be in a relationship with someone else. But through all the Brittany that was invading her senses, there were patches of Dani too.

"It feels really good to be around you." Brittany's eyes were flickering over Santana's face, trying to gather all of the information she could. Committing Santana's every muscle movement and eye flicker to memory. "You make me feel like a girl again. Like my body wakes up." It was taking all of Brittany's self-restraint to not reach over again for Santana's face. Just to hold it, just to run her fingers around Santana's mouth and her jaw and her nose. Brittany was never more thankful that Santana had bought her food than now, because it meant the hand closest to Santana, the hand that could just casually shift and be on Santana's arm or in her lap or fitting perfectly with Santana's, was charged with holding her churro.

Santana didn't know what to say, _how _to say it. Her head was still foggy from the kiss and confused from Brittany feelings and Dani feelings and being back in Lima feelings. "Please don't do this, okay. I've worked my ass off to get over you."

* * *

Santana was stood outside the small café where she was meeting Dani for their date. She could see Dani through the window. Dani was nervously moving the condiments on the table whilst readjusting her hair. Santana couldn't help but notice that Dani didn't move as fluidly, and her arms didn't fit so easily around Dani's waist. Her eyes were darker, and Santana couldn't read them like she could Brittany's. Dani didn't care what people thought, but it was different to the way Brittany didn't care about what people thought. Brittany made Santana's heart speed up and butterflies fill her stomach…and so did Dani.

But, Brittany also made her feel safe; like she'd come home.

Santana sighed, and turned away from the glass, heading back home.

She didn't leave her bed for two days, and avoided Dani for almost a week.

* * *

Santana had just had sex.

With a girl.

That wasn't Brittany or an 'experiment' with Quinn.

She suddenly couldn't breathe, and Dani's body against her own felt like a lead weight. Pulling her arm out from under Dani as quickly as possible without waking her arm, Santana scrabbled around the room for her clothes that they had hastily discarded.

Santana managed to hold in her loud, heart-breaking sobs until Dani's apartment door was closed behind her.

* * *

Santana was sat on her bed, flicking through a magazine she had 'borrowed' from a coffee shop when she heard the door open, and Rachel's voice pierce through the apartment. She sighed and turned another page, zoning her out.

Until Rachel knocked on her door and poked her head around before waiting for Santana to answer.

"There's someone to see you!" Rachel sing-songed in the doorway, smiling painfully wide. Santana didn't answer, simply raising an eyebrow and throwing down her magazine petulantly. When Dani appeared behind Rachel, Santana's mouth popped open her mind was buzzing with

(excuses as to why she left Dani, naked and alone, at 2 in the morning)

things to say.

Dani moved around Rachel and sat on the edge of Santana's bed, careful not to touch her. Dani opened her mouth to speak before realising Rachel was still stood in the doorway.

"Um, Rach? I was hoping to talk to San alone?"

"Oh! Yes! Of course. How silly of me, of course you want to speak to her without me. I have lines to practise anyway, I don't know if Santana has told you, but I have an audition next –" Rachel suddenly realised that neither girl was listening, and she ducked her head, moving away from the door as quickly as possible.

"So." Dani started, tucking her hair behind her ears before quickly pulling it back over them.

"So." Santana echoed. She knew she should start the conversation, should start by apologising and saying what an arse she'd been for leaving Dani and then ignoring her. Completely. But everything she tried to stay got caught somewhere between her brain and her mouth.

"So. We had sex. And it was good sex. Great sex, in fact." Dani couldn't help the slight blush across her nose and a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. But still Santana couldn't say anything. "I mean, it was right? It was just…great for me and shit and awkward for you?" Dani dipped her head to try and meet Santana's eyes, but Santana's had buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent cries. "San…Santana? Did I do something wrong?" Dani's voice wasn't much more than a whisper, but it silenced Santana as if she had screamed.

"No!" Santana said firmly. She leant forward, pulling Dani's body towards her own. "No, not at all its just –" Santana bit her lip to stop it obviously trembling but she couldn't help her eyes sliding towards the picture of her, Quinn and –

"Brittany." Dani sighed. "It's because of Brittany isn't it?"

Santana nodded slowly.

"We moved too fast?" Santana shook her head no and shrugged at the same time. "You gonna say anything?" Dani laughed nervously.

"Yes. I just," Santana shrugged again. "I just, don't know how to explain it." She reached for the picture, subconsciously tracing Brittany's face with her index finger. "I've being in love with her for so long, and loved her even longer. And," Santana reached for Dani's hand, holding it firmly in her own. "I really like being with you, and the other night was…different in the best possible way. It was new and exciting and you are so incredibly beautiful. It's just…"

"You couldn't help but think of Brittany?" Santana nodded slowly. "Okay. Do you want to be with her? No, wait, I don't want to ask that question. Do you want to be with _me_?" Santana nodded again. "Okay. Good. Brilliant. Well, in that case Santana, call me when you're ready for a date." Dani cupped Santana's face, stroking her thumb along Santana's jaw and captured her lips softly, once, twice. "Until then, I'm your friend."

* * *

They had almost had sex three times now.

But every time, just as Dani would unbutton her blouse, or wriggle out of her dress or get adorably stuck in her sweater, Santana would flash to blonde and blue and pale. And Dani would pull an oversized jumper or bathrobe or pull down her t-shirt and softly kiss her cheek at the end of the night.

And it was starting to piss Santana right off. Not to mention she was frustrated as hell, so God only knows what it was doing to Dani.

But tonight…

Tonight, her and Dani had finished unexpectedly early and gone to a local jazz and swing bar that they knew didn't ID anyone from the Spotlight Diner. It had been two hours of careful dancing getting more and more careless.

And Santana hadn't thought of Brittany once.

All she could focus on were dark eyes looking straight into her own and curvy hips moulded perfectly to fit beneath her fingertips and lips that made her whole body tingle.

By the time they had made it back to Santana's apartment building, she was struggling to keep her eyes off of Dani's cleavage or the curve of her butt or the way her tongue would occasionally reach out to lick slowly over her lips, and by the time they reached outside of Santana's apartment, her fingers were walking upwards, underneath Dani's shirt.

"Santana –" Dani gasped as lips, hot and wet and mojito-salt tingly, met her neck.

Santana scrabbled at the lock, eventually hearing the click of success. "Inside. Now."

Santana waited only as long as it took to get to her bedroom before she began kissing Dani again, pulling their bodies closer together, thumbs massaging Dani's hipbones.

"Santana," Dani was cut off again by Santana's lips, but as they moved along her jaw she found her voice again. "Santana, if you don't stop now, I don't think I'm going to be able to."

"Good." Santana mumbled into Dani's jaw. "I don't think I can either." The lust in Santana's voice made Dani's body burn as if on fire, but she had to be beyond sure this time and she reached for Santana's face.

"This is really what you want? You're not going to wake up tomorrow or in a few hours and wish we hadn't. Cos we can stop. Right now. But, fuck, Santana you are so hot, I want you, I _need _you so badly right now."

Santana took a step away from Dani, waiting and uncertain. Santana bit her bottom lip as she reached for the buttons, slowly, teasingly undoing the top three before becoming impatient and tugging the shirt over her head.

Dani couldn't stop her eyes from falling to Santana's breasts. Sure, she'd seen them before, but that night felt so long ago, that Dani felt like she needed to relearn Santana's body. She reached out a hand as she stepped towards Santana and slowly traced her finger downwards from the hollow of Santana's throat to the small, bright, blue bow on Santana's bra. Dani leant their foreheads together, and both hands moved to cover Santana's breasts, causing a panting moan from between Santana's lips as she gently, achingly slowly squeezed them. Dani giggled as she kissed Santana's cheek and reached for her own shirt buttons.

By the time they were both down to only panties, the air was hot and thick and Santana was panting in need, Dani completely in control. The last thin scrap of clothing was flung onto Santana's bedroom floor, and she almost cried at the relief of Dani's mouth on her.

* * *

Dani woke slowly, but refused to open her eyes immediately.

She could still feel Santana's fingers tugging slightly at her hair as she came, her mouth hot and firm at the very top of Dani's thigh and the way she pressed their noses together, eyes locked with her own, as Santana's fingers brought her to climax.

And she didn't want to have it replaced with an empty bed and quickly scribbled note.

Not yet.

Not until she'd basked in last night just a little longer.

She thought she could feel the body heat and slight weight of Santana still beside her, and slowly opened her eyes. Eyes now fully open, they landed on Santana's smiling face. "Hey," She whispered, her normally slightly raspy voice was exaggerated by drowsiness.

Santana bit her lip before gently kissing the very corner of Dani's mouth. "Hey."

"You stayed."

"I stayed."

* * *

Santana was flipping a piece of card around in her fingers, to the great annoyance of Rachel who was sat in the chair opposite her.

"Santana! Can you stop please!" She snapped. "What even is that anyway?"

Santana looked up, almost as if she was surprised that Rachel was in the room. "Oh. Right, sorry. It's a postcard from Brittany. Her parents took her on a well done for getting into MIT trip to Europe. She sent me a postcard." Santana held it up briefly as if to prove her point.

Rachel's eyes softened and her head tilted to the side. "I'm sorry Santana. I can leave you –"

"Woah woah woah. I don't need a pity party, especially not from you Berry. I'm glad she's getting on with her life, and it sounds like she is having an amazing time; she's annotated everywhere she went. And I have Dani. I'm good."

* * *

Brittany stood up, unable to sit that close to Santana and not touch her again. "I really wanna be with you, Santana. I've seen the world, and I'm sure now more than ever that I belong with you."

* * *

It was the first day of her holiday, and Brittany was sat in a café in France – France! Who ever thought she'd be in France! – carefully teaching herself short phrases – French was easy. So much easier than English. It had a beautiful lyricism to it that flowed through Brittany's body like music, making more sense to her than English ever had – when she noticed a girl looking at her from the far corner. As soon as Brittany looked up, this girl blushed red and ducked her head.

Brittany smiled, slightly flattered by the attention, but not particularly interested and looked back down to her phrase book. Over the next hour, when Brittany would look up to run the phrase over her tongue and try and remember it without any prompting, she would keep meeting this girls eyes. Eventually, the girl found the courage to approach Brittany.

She was pretty, Brittany noticed. Slim (not quite as slim as Santana) with dark hair and eyes (that weren't quite as shiny and flowing or mysteriously deep as Santana's) above a nervous but hopeful smile (that didn't make her eyes glitter like Santana's did when she smiled at Brittany).

"Hi," She cleared her throat nervously "I'm Louisa." Brittany was still taking in everything she could about this, Louisa, that it hadn't registered that she should say something back. "Oh, please don't say you don't speak English. My French is worse than terrible. Um, je m, um je m'appelle –"

"You're English." Brittany said as she smiled. "I've always wanted to meet someone from England."

Louisa blushed once more. "Welsh, actually, but you're not the first American to not know the difference. You are American right?"

Brittany smiled a little wider and nodded, pointing to the chair that Louisa was leant against. "You wanna sit down? What's Wales like?"

* * *

It was Brittany's last day in France and her and her parents and sister were flying back home very early tomorrow morning.

She was sat in the wicker chair in her hotel room, watching the sun rise, while behind her, Louisa slept naked in her bed. After a week of talking and kisses on the check and gentle kisses, they had slept together last night.

Brittany had enjoyed it, she always enjoyed sex and letting her body do all of the talking, but it wasn't like sex with Santana.

It wasn't the beautiful experience she had ever felt.

It didn't make her feel like her and her partner were the only two that mattered in the world at that point.

She couldn't shut out the rest of the world quite as well as she always could with just a particular look from Santana.

It was fun and it was sexy and Brittany was happy that it had happened.

But.

She wasn't Santana.

* * *

"And I'm sure your girlfriends…great, but. You can't recreate what you and I have." Brittany held Santana's gaze for as long as she could, before taking a deep breath and stepping towards her.

She glanced once more at Santana before bending toward her. She was particularly careful to avoid Santana's bare legs, it would be too much of a temptation to not slide her fingers teasingly further upwards and under Santana's skirt.

"It's your choice." She whispered, just as her lips brushed Santana's cheek in the softest of kisses making Santana ache to kiss Brittany properly.

"If you want me I'm here."

* * *

That's all folks. I hope you liked it, and I hope this week's episode it…passable? I feel that's all you can hope for with Glee now :P

Any reviews ect would be amazing! Thanks!


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